NEWS FOR 9-29-2004
Some may ask, "Hey Robb. Where's the rest of the news." Get over it. Haha. I'm Mean. So here's the skinny. If you work in the post office, and you steal from packages going to marines, I'm gonna glue an artillary shell to your toilet when I get home. I got the sniffles. It's like I got water in my nose. It's totally weird. Trying to build a computer out here, scouting out prices and stuff. I'm doin really good. I'll probably end up giving it to my brother. I just found out I'm white. Thanks Rod, there goes all my style. Sgt G's beamer had another hurricane hit it. That's 5. That things toast. Wish I had a picture to put on here, oh well. One last thing I haven't said in a long time:
I'm pimp.
NEWS FOR 9-28-2004
Wow. Sorry for all the delays. This has been a hell of a time. Let's see here, I'm getting my ass handed to me in fantasy football, been staying really busy, going around and doing a lot of work stuff. Everyone's doing all right, just kind of taking everything a day at a time. The camp's constantly getting better. I'd really like to express to everyone that for some of the marines, the "Novelty Value" of them being here is wearing off, and people from home are keeping in contact less and less. No one get's used to being here, and your letters are our lifeline, because it's still dangerous, and you all back home are our main source of drive. I'm doing my best to keep the email posted to the guys out here, we miss you all, and the days are going by. No pics, I'm just now getting back into gear.
NEWS FOR 9-21-2004
Borggren is now a pigeon sniper; just thought I'd throw that out there. The green men came and attacked again. This time they caused our electricity to fry out the lights (Smoked Flourescent smells like crud, by the way), and toasted one of my switches. It's on. In other news, I'd like to note, if you like to smoke, cool. If you bum smokes, hey, we're in the desert, but DAMN IT ALL TO HELL GUYS. On top of that, while typing this, Guadamuz asked to bum a smoke. I'm out.... get over it. (Got more coming though, cause Aunties Pam and Kathy rule) DAMN IT, on top of that, Borggren keeps trying to tell the 2/2 Colonel off in my name on chat. I give up. No pics today, I'm having a bad hair day. I know, I know, it's not possible... but it somehow happened. Oh well, I'm bad ass, and I have gum. Holla!
NEWS FOR 9-19-2004
Wow, in totally random news note today, the SgtMaj came in on a meeting, called attention, and the Colonel promoted me... right there... on the spot... it was so random. I feel really good. I would just like to state for the record once more, this command is awesome. The only downside is, I can't be that goofball Lance Coolie any more. DAMN IT!!
I bought a watch from the "Iraqi National" mart today (That just doesn't roll off of the tongue.), and it fell apart 2 hours later. I'm gonna shoot a Javelin into the market. Bastards. Oh well, that's it, great day, minus the whole watch thing, AND I got some more cubans. You totally wish you were me. Borggren finally got Rampart working.. he's having fun. And we've just been doing our thang. Oh, there's this chick in FHM this month that looks freakishly like my ex who doesn't know about this site... and won't know... bwahahaha. Time to snort a Pixy Stik~
NEWS FOR 9-18-2004
So hey, here I am:
Totally pinned on. How pimp am I? How pimp are THESE guys?
Well, I totally hate these freaking Anti American Iraqi Army of Pie people, or whoever the hell they are. They need to just chill out, have a beer, marry another cousin, and be happy with life... or has well as one can be in this hell hole. Look what they did to our AC!!
This AC is my hero. Other than that, I'm busy as hell, as are we all. More later.
NEWS FOR 9-16-2004
Special hello to anyone from MEF. Hi!! I guess this site has been drawing some concern. No matter, your hero is still here, and is trying to find monkey. Some pics tomorrow of our KIA Air Conditioner. I was hurting for a while for smokes and sugar, when mom and dad sent me pixy stix and Turkish Golds. For the next couple of weeks, I am in heaven. Sorry about the slow updates. Let's see here. The assault weapons ban in the states is over! Go forth, and buy large boomsticks. I love it. I want an HK-55 something fierce. I gotta update the site from afar now, making harder on pictures, but I already mastered the routine. I gotta type fast so as usuall, I could care less about typos. But anyhoo, it's getting a lot cooler around here, which is awesome. Morale of your marines is steadily on the rise... I don't care how bad they make it sound. They're gonna hate me for typing this. Sgt Lahnen is OK, and if you know what that means, good. If not, haha, you can't speak secret code. NO ONE send me a request to join my cult yet... my feelings are hurt. That's about it. Lotsa pics tomorrow... plus they're pinning on my good conduct medal today... yay!!~~
NEWS FOR 9-13-2004
Lots going on. First off, I'll apologize for the lack of updates. For some reason, my credit card number was "invalid" up till last night, when it was mysteriously ok. I can't wait to get home and host this site myself. Anyhoo, it was slow and busy for the first two days. I hope everyone took a moment on the 11th to reflect on the horrible events, the sacrifices, and the resolve that came from the day. We had a really eventful 11th, because
These guys friggin shelled the hell outta us. No one was hurt bad, but we lost an air conditioner and MY LAPTOP. Grrrr... I can't really exactly say what happened, but we found the guys who did it, and I was put in charge of guarding them... awww they fucked up with that one. No, we didn't do any of that abu gharib shit... much to my personal dismay. Well that's vague enough to not get me in trouble, yay! I smoked a cigar that I lit with a zippo... let me tell you... that's a bad idea. Butane + lungs = sick. But the docs gave me a cool pirate balloon sword. It was so pimp. Our doc's are the shit. The SgtMaj is now my hair stylist... go fig. The MEU SgtMaj, cutting little ol me's hair. He's really cool too. Leme think... hmmm... that's about it. My morale-o-meter's back up again, mostly cause we're kicking ass out here. Oh, and one more thing... My Chicago Bears failed me... *sigh*
NEWS FOR 9-6-2004
Whoa, I'm so tired. I totally have nothing to say today. You all probably want advice or a picture, so here's one I got somewhere awhile ago.
Bye.
NEWS FOR 9-6-2004
It is official. "Hadji" is now considered a "Racial Slur" and cannot be spoken. Let's forget the fact that the Iraqi's named their market the "Hadji Mart" (Even spray painted it in surprisingly good english.) Let's overlook the fact a muslim that makes his trip to Mecca is a hadji. This cracker doesn't care. The most racist people on earth are the ones that are constantly afaid of offending someone, because they keep those prejudices in their heads. If you do not agree, send me an email, and I'll ridicule you. Hehe. Anyhoo Mrs. Feffercorn, We've been busy sporadically, but I've actually had enough time to take a break and play some Final Fantasy 2 on SNES Emulator. I rule. Enough about me though (I know, there can NEVER be enough about me), how is everyone out there? Got anything to say to someone out here? Send em a shout! Maybe a picture at hooters with a sign that says "24MEU JTF KICKS ASS YO~"? Let's get some random stuff in here. Like this:
Here's a monkey, as he prepares his paintball rampage. Thanks to our buddies at Landstuhl. You're giving the monkey ideas.
NEWS FOR 9-4-2004
Aside from the vast conspiracy against the circus, things have been hectic. The fighting here has taken epic proportions. See below. On top of that, I'm drugged up. I dunno if it's really not that strong and I just think it is or what, but this crap makes me feel GOOD. Oh. Yeah. Pictures. Here.
The little green men are starting an offensive, and I'm not sure we can hold. I lost my first battle to the green men in Mrs. Whites 5th Grade Class. That bitch. She was in cahoots!! Cahoots I say! I say cahoots! Cahoots is a funny word. But these bastards ATE my cupcake out of my lunch, and have been stalking me ever since. My word to all green men: disarm. We are coming for you. Time to write some scripts and patch some servers, and smoke a cigarette. Speaking of conspiracys, Sgt Mitchells wife, who is ALSO Sgt Mitchell, sent him a lot of chili. How could you do this to us?? That's all right though, Courthouse Bay is now our official higher headquarters. Tell us what to blow up!
NEWS FOR 9-3-2004
So, I moved a bunch of stuff today, the same stuff I move every day, but I had a back spazz and had to go to the doc. It wouldn't have been so bad, had I not had to have been a guinea (sp? who cares?) pig for a back injury class. All that poking around hurt. I got lots of drugs though, so all is well. Drugs rool. It's still kinda sore, but whatever. Other than that, I'm afraid of what's going on, so I give up. Yay.
NEWS FOR 9-2-2004
Hey! Larkin has a science experiment he's keeping busy with, but pictures and fully story may have to wait until tomorrow. There's some little kid games going on among some marines, but I guess that's to be expected, we're about at that time frame. Just hope they all get over it soon. Been keeping myself entertained by moving boxes and cleaning. I'm gonna have the first back yard and white picket fence in Iraq. Then I'm gonna make some apple pie. Pie is the sizz nizzle. When I went looking for a picture of a monkey, I found some baby's dad's blog about how he hates my Commander and Chief. First off, I'd like to note that this ISN'T a blog, this is WAR CORRESPONDENCE YO!!! This site is disguised as a blog for a small baby, but is really a socialist manifesto. Check this out though, your hero is here!
I'm anxiously awaiting a "Stupid Jarhead reply." I'll post it. If you check out this guys site, you can't help but feel sorry for the kid he's brainwashing. All I wanted was a site dedicated to evil monkeys on google, and THIS came up. Google. Reform. Now.
I have a cult. I'll bet you didn't know that. You can join if you want. There's nothing you gotta do. Just email me an address and I'll send you a little membership card made out of MRE box and magic marker. I am so bad ass.
NEWS FOR 9-1-2004
Whut up cousins yo. Iraqi translators are cool as hell. They kept asking about nightclubs and women in america, and asked if americans are all like people in porno flicks. I, of course, said yes. I rule. Got a picture of Borggren finally for the bios, soon to come. Just need to get Hoffmaster and M00zL. G money won't come on the site. I dunno why. Pretty tired right now. 11th MEU is having all the fun in Najaf. Here's a photo of Najaf:
As you can easily see, Sadr is unarmed. But he didn't say anything about not transforming into the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. He's a tricky one. I really need a beer. I really don't know what else to write, so I'll just sto